Sins of the past and Redemptions of Tomorrow

I know some of you guys are pestering my to continue writing about the paranormal story I've been working out. But lately I really couldn't knock myself out of this transitional state.

A simple question for any of you guys that even have the time to bother about coming here. . .
Ever notice the little voice in your mind and the whispers of your heart?
The ones that tell you your very feelings mixed in with logic? Sometimes your feelings might be attuned to that of your logic but sometimes they are hellbent on contradicting each other. Ever get that?

Most people call it your conscience, your will. A voice which manifests from two main components of your ever functioning body, the heart, and the mind. The mind being responsible for everything logical and illogical. And the heart telling you things that are more attuned to your everyday wants and comfort.

The mind plays a part in telling us what we really need while the heart plays its part in telling us what we desire and what we long for. Needless to say, these two don't always see eye to eye.
And now.. Mine doesn't.

Conscience as it may be, I think it is just a pain in the ass. A gift and a curse from God the moment He allowed Adam and Eve to consume that bloody forbidden fruit. The gift of knowing whats right and wrong. . thats what the Great One calls it. I call it a gift of leading us all astray.

To give you guys a simple picture on how this simple tool of survival play it's destructive and mean part in our everyday lives, look into our lives yourself. We all know that there is a small good in us somewhere, and that we would try to do good and make good out of everything. But what happens when good does not earn you a single penny? Would you still do it? If you see an opportunity to succeed in life and all it takes is for you to just tell a nasty lie to someone close to you, let's say you are telling them that you do not have time to go out with them because you have an important issue in your family or whatever, would you do it? Knowing full well that they would be darn hurt in the end? Your mind now tells you that you need to do this to ensure a successful and comfortable life and even if that closed one is hurt, they will one day learn that it is a necessary sacrifice and you can even make it up to them one day. Your heart however, knows that though you can make it up to them, you can never erase the fact that you have once betrayed them, the scar would always remain. How are you to act then?


I know now I must move on, my mind tells me the sincere and irreversible logic that it is indeed pointless to hang on to something that is already gone. My friends even cemented that belief. But my heart, knowing all too well that there is still a glimpse of hope somewhere in this shattered bond, begs to not give up. Begs me to still be the so called "good" person I've become. But what if someones destiny does not lie in the good no matter how hard he tries? What good could come of it?


No one needs to read this, it's just the blabber of a confused person. But if anyone does, then thank you for wasting your time on me. And thanks for caring, for I seriously am starting to not. How can I keep my hands up high when everything around me is bearing their weight down on me? I guess time will tell.